Home and Away: Tane’s arms in the role they were born to play giving off massive The O.C. vibes

Headshot of Stephanie McKenna
Stephanie McKennaThe West Australian
Camera IconCaliforniaaaaaaaa. Credit: Jeremy Greive/Jeremy Greive

The year is 2006 and it’s the season three finale of The O.C. Imogen Heap’s cover of Hallelujah is playing while Ryan carries Marissa’s gangly limp body from the burning wreckage. Ryan survives with minor injuries, but Marissa dies on the side of the road, along with Mischa Barton’s acting career.

No one’s career is over in this case – unless Nik and Bella were perusing singing (I’ll get to that later) – but the scene of Tane carrying Mac is the role Tane (and his arms) were born to play.

Anna comes back form a run. She’s not wearing shoes so it’s a pretty poor attempt at convincing us she’s just done exercise.

It’s not really relevant to the plot, but it really irks me.

Over at Ziggy’s house, Mac doesn’t want to dwell on her pain and heads into to work to take her mind off things.

But she’s about to really regret her decision because Ari and Mia are about to turn up for a relaxing boozy lunch even though Ari is freshly out of hospital just weeks after he nearly died from a hit and run.

Ari sees that she doesn’t look too great and pulls her over for a talk. But Mac isn’t ready and walks away.

"I think us showing up has messed her about," Ari says to Mia.

"I know breakups are hard but now she can’t even be in the same place as me."

Oh Ari, we expected so much better from you.

Ari literally left Mac and moved his old girlfriend in immediately and he’s somehow surprised that she can’t handle the sight of him?

Then Mac takes a turn for the worse and collapses in the surf club.

Tane scoops her up in his massive arms and ferries her to the hospital.

Ari and Mia see it all and Mia has no choice (or that’s what she says) but to tell Ari the truth.

Hide and seek.
Camera IconHide and seek. Credit: Jeremy Greive/Jeremy Greive

"Mac was pregnant," Mia says.

"She lost the baby."

Ari turns up at the hospital where Mac is recovering.

Actually a heartfelt moment.
Camera IconActually a heartfelt moment. Credit: Jeremy Greive/Jeremy Greive

"Mac, I know about the pregnancy," Ari says.

"I am so sorry you went through this alone. I should have been here."

"I didn’t want you to have to be with me," Mac says through the tears.

"I didn’t want it and now I’ve lost it.

"I’m so empty."

We don’t see she rest of the heartfelt exchange, but Mac has perked up a lot and is discharged.

"Take care of yourself and call me if you need anything, anytime," Ari says.

Back at home Mia is the nicest she’s been in the show so far.

"If you want to go and keep Mac company, I am fine with it," she says to Ari.

"Take the pizza with you."

"You and I both know there’s nothing anyone can do to take away the pain," Ari replies.

In other news Nikau surprises Bella with a weekend getaway.

She packs her bag in 10 seconds flat and they head off.

Nik suddenly has a car and we’re lucky the Home and Away actors were not hired for their singing ability because Bella’s weak singing voice makes me want to pull my beautiful hair out.

Not again.
Camera IconNot again. Credit: Channel 7/Channel 7

The singalong comes to an end and they turn up at a rustic looking farmhouse.

"Nik it’s perfect," Bella says.

He’s pulled out all the steps to woo her. There’s champagne and a bath!

They’re getting all cuddly on the couch when Ryder and Chloe seek their "revenge" and rock up with tequila, ready to party.

"You guys can’t stay," Nik says.

But they pull the guilt card and make themselves at home.

Then another cringe moment. We’re now watching a lame teen horror movie.

Ryder wakes up in the middle of the night after hearing suspicious noises.

"There’s someone outside," he says to Chloe.

It’s clearly just a lame prank to get them back for crashing the romantic getaway but the rouse goes on for quite some time, getting each other back.

I’ll spare you all and won’t go into.

The only important part is when Bella zooms in on a pic of Nik taken before they were gate crashed and there’s a mysterious figure in the background.

All of a sudden, they’re at the Diner with Ryder and Chloe and they all agree it’s the last of the pranks and there’s no more discussion of the suss silhouette lurking in the background.

Dean is avoiding his responsibilities by sinking tiny beers at Salt.

Amber’s talk of marriage and babies has been playing on his mind.

But Amber tells him he’s off the hook because she’s happy with their relationship and doesn’t want another kid.

Sadly, Dean’s mood has been misinterpreted and he does want kids and asks Amber not to rule the idea out so they’re back where they started wanting completely different things.

Justin still in pain and John wants to sell his house and give the money from the sale of the house to Justin and Leah.

But they won’t take any money from John. 

Finally the bit we’ve been waiting for. Lewis’ revenge on Budget McDreamy.

It’s been a slow build, but the tension is nearing maximum.

Budget McDreamy has been charged for smashing Lewis in the face and now he’s "an excellent surgeon with a criminal record".

Still raging.
Camera IconStill raging. Credit: Jeremy Greive/Jeremy Greive

The pair carry on as they usually do – with Lewis egging on Budget McDreamy, who continues to fall for it every time.

It’s looking like Budget McDreamy is going to punch Lewis again, but Alf breaks it up with the hose as they are conveniently in front of the Bait shop.

Wet Doc.
Camera IconWet Doc. Credit: Channel 7/Channel 7

But the real victim in all of the this is poor Jasmine who knows that using Lewis for his sperm isn’t a wise idea since he’s basically psychotic.

"It’s not healthy or normal," Jas says.

"Lewis I care about you a lot but I’m worried if you carry on like this you’re going to end up arrested or worse."

Jas suggests he see a counsellor because she had such amazing results and was cured in just a few sessions.

"You can’t keep going like this Lewis. Something has to change," she says.

Lewis only hangs his head and turns down Jasmine’s invitation for a sleepover.

The next day Jas raises her concerns with Tori.

Poor Jas.
Camera IconPoor Jas. Credit: Channel 7/Channel 7

"He’s still got it in for Christian," Jas says.

"I’m scared Tori, there’s something really wrong."

It switches to the hospital and Lewis is in a dark unused room, dragging a body by the feet.

Just a moment later the body is revealed to be Christian.

Imagine if this was the last thing you saw.
Camera IconImagine if this was the last thing you saw. Credit: Channel 7/Channel 7

Under normal circumstances – like real life – Lewis would never get away with smuggling the unconscious body of a grown man though the hospital. But this is Home and Away so it really could be the end for Budget McDreamy.

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