Adrian Barich: today we celebrate mothers, the people who care for us, defend us and are our biggest fans

OK, it’s time to celebrate everyone’s first groupie. The person who, ever since she laid eyes on you, has been your biggest fan. We may not acknowledge it enough or in some cases even believe it, but before the world even knew your name, your mum was front row.

My mum Dawn was my greatest defender and though she was petite and very ladylike, God help anyone who slighted her son. Even when one of my coaches questioned my performance for the Eagles, in a glass-half-full moment, Mum replied, “well, at least Adrian got some fresh air and exercise today”.

I’m sure most mums are the same; keeping scrapbooks of the times you’ve appeared in the paper or been mentioned somewhere, even hoarding drawings from when you were a kid. Maybe your mum even kept that wonky clay ashtray you made during pottery class (imagine kids doing that these days — no chance).

Jodie is the same with our son Tom. As soon as he decided to do a bit of FIFO work she googled, “Are you a first time FIFO worker? Here’s what to pack” and proceeded to buy everything on the very long list below.

“Adrian, can you go to Bunnings and buy a flash-ish tape measure?” Off I went, a bit unsure as to what a “not too flash” tape measure looked like.

“Oh, and antihistamine tablets, some thick work socks (bamboo is highly recommended) and tinea cream, Bepanthen for chaffing, those exfoliating glove things to get the red dust off. And maybe some aluminium foil to cover the windows.”

Good grief.

She’s just as bad (or good) with our daughter Madi.

That’s why, whatever is going on, as far as possible, within reason, never hurt your mum in any way.

As someone unknown once wrote, “Your mother is the one who loved you before you even existed. She carried you for months, nurtured you when you couldn’t even ask, and gave you a love so pure that nothing in this world could compare. Through every sleepless night, every sacrifice, and every challenge, her love for you never wavered. Never take that love for granted, and never cause harm to the person who gave you life and endless care. Show your mother the respect, gratitude and love she deserves every single day, because no one else in this world will love you the way she does. Love your mother with all your heart.”

One of the world’s best footballers, Cristiano Ronaldo, admitted he once made his mother cry and the next morning she made him breakfast and prayed for him. It was then he realised what true love is.

So on Mother’s Day, let’s not forget that mothers need to be mothered too. For many mums, the tradition was to get married early, have kids and look after the home, in what was believed to be the perfect life. But really, it could also be a time for anxiety and maybe even isolation.

And it was taboo to complain or even utter the the words “motherhood is tough”. It was all focused on keeping up appearances, burying your true feelings and ploughing on, smiling where possible.

The truth is that a lot of motherhood is about sacrifice and neglect: putting aside your own dreams, goals and interests or, at best, putting them last. This is what we should think about on Sunday.

One day of acknowledgement doesn’t seem like enough, does it? I’m not sure, but maybe what mums truly want is gratitude. Let her know that you understand just how much she loves you.

And another thing they definitely value is their children getting on well together, so all their hard work in trying to maintain a happy family unit hasn’t been for nothing.

So, as for a gift on Mother’s Day, how about someone empties the dishwasher without being asked? Give her a chance to finish her tea or coffee without it going cold and maybe gift her a whole day where she doesn’t have to make decisions.

And most of all, a hug that says “you’re doing so much; I see it, and you’re amazing”.