Dad Life with Josh Zimmerman: How a grumpy cat stole our hearts and became our baby’s favourite living thing

She’s been a frequent guest on this page and she’s an integral part of the Zimmerman Zoo, so I thought it was past time I dedicated some column inches to the true matriarch of the family: Harley. Harley the cat joined what was then just Jade and me in mid-2019, shortly after we bought our first house. She actually started out as a foster cat and I’m still not quite sure how we ended up keeping her. It was not love at first sight. When we got the call from a rescue shelter telling us they had a resident who needed urgent boarding because she “wasn’t coping” around other animals, the alarms bells should have started ringing. And they should have reached fever pitch when we arrived and a quivering staff member brought out “Harley Quinn” and then rapidly disappeared in a cloud of dust with barely a “good luck!” While Jade set about trying to get Harley to stop hissing, I scuttled around the refuge looking for a cat carrier that would hold a 6kg behemoth. There were none. We had to borrow — and then later buy — a dog carrier. In the first week Harley — we quickly dropped the “Quinn” — turned her nose up at 18 different kinds of cat food and around the same number of cat litters. I distinctly remember, in an apt prelude to having a human baby, how excited I was the first time she actually took a dump. It must have been in that moment of euphoria-induced weakness that I asked Jade whether we should just keep her. She showed absolutely zero signs of gratitude for the next six weeks and then, out of nowhere, had a seizure. It turns out Harley, who was four when we adopted her, suffers from mild epilepsy. This was something neither the cat refuge nor Harley’s previous owners (allegedly) knew about. While terrifying the first few times it happened, in a strange way Harley’s seizures represented a major breakthrough. In the immediate aftermath of one, she would actually let us pat her. About six months in, and completely unprompted, Harley sat on my lap. It remains the single proudest moment of my life. Sorry, Cleo. By the time the baby came along, Harley was firmly entrenched in her routine. Her epilepsy is controlled with medication taken twice daily, which means breakfast at 7am sharp, followed by dinner at 5pm. Treats — administered by Jade — are sometime in between. Cheese — administered by me — must be produced within 30 seconds of my arrival home from work in the evening. If Harley feels any of these deadlines has been missed she will begin meowing at the top of her lungs, and then scratching either the couch or our bed, depending on which one we’re nearest at the time. This is a particularly annoying habit for a cat that cannot tell the time and frequently mistakes 5.30am for 7am. So it was with some trepidation that we introduced Harley to Cleo. We weren’t sure how she would react to an unpredictable baby, and worried after the first night she’d drag her cat (dog) carrier out of its cupboard, pack her favourite tinned food, and demand a lift back to the shelter. It turns out we underestimated her. Harley displays admirable restraint when faced with a demented slobber machine crawling her way at full speed. On rare occasions, she will actually endure Cleo trying to suck on her tail. And she has become a godsend for Jade and I, because if there is one thing guaranteed to cheer Cleo on even her worst days, it’s the sight of the cat. When it all gets too much, Harley has also mastered a skill crucial for all new parents: leaving the room and hiding under the nearest blanket to regroup. It is a trick I am frequently desperate to emulate myself. Alas, Harley’s considerable bulk means there is never enough room under the blanket for both of us. Jade’s tips from the trenches + If you have an inquisitive cat and you’re worried they might try join your baby in their cot, most brands also sell sleep-safe mosquito nets that should keep your kitty at bay. + A child gate your cat can slink through — or jump over — is very handy for keeping your baby away from your pet’s food and water. + It can be important to have at least a few high places your cat can escape to if they’re feeling overwhelmed by an excitable bub.