Nat Locke: As the world implodes this week, here is where I’m finding bursts of positivity

This has been another one of those weeks where it has felt like the world is imploding.

It’s been tough to turn on the news, but because we all know someone who lives in Dubai or is trying to get home from Europe or is a beleaguered travel agent who is spending every waking moment on hold to an airline, it’s also tough to look away.

Still, I’m not qualified enough to give any detailed geopolitical insight, although that doesn’t seem to stop a lot of people on TikTok.

I’ve decided the best course of action is to stay in my lane, although I will say this: when children are being blown up, there is a problem. I know, hot take, right?

What I would like to do, though, is give everyone a little burst of good news. So, I’ve scoured the internet to find as many happy stories and joyful moments as I can muster.

Firstly, for all those people who watched the Winter Olympics and thought “I could do that!” I have excellent news. Bobsleigh & Skeleton Australia are looking for the next generation of skeleton athletes. So if you reckon you’ve got what it takes to slide facedown and headfirst down a slippery ice tube on what equates to an esky lid at the leisurely speed of about 140kmh (you almost certainly don’t, by the way, but I’ll humour you), you can sign up for their next recruitment drive. I look forward to watching you in the French Alps in four years’ time.

You just need to provide an athletic resume, which presumably needs to be more comprehensive than “Slid down a Lancelin sand dune on a piece of cardboard once” but who knows? One of our bobsledders at Milano Cortina was from Laverton, so anything is possible. Maybe, as you’ve long suspected, you just have a knack for it.

After we were all captivated by the blood moon the other night, it was pointed out that the next one will be on New Year’s Eve in 2028, so finally, there will be a reason to do something on New Year’s Eve.

I’ve long held the opinion that NYE celebrations tend to be a bit of a fizzer. Ideally, I like to make sure I’m home on the couch by 10pm so I don’t have to battle drunken crowds and rideshare surge pricing.

Last time I properly went out on New Year’s Eve, it cost me over $100 to get from Northbridge to East Fremantle, and that’s extortionate. But for a blood moon, I reckon I’ll make the effort.

It’s better than fireworks, because it won’t upset the dog. Yes, it’s 1029 days away (I googled) but I’m willing to start making my plans now.

Punch. If an entire world can be captivated by a rejected baby monkey and his stuffed monkey friend at a Japanese zoo, then we are either VERY desperate for a lighthearted story, or our stone-cold hearts have softened. The fact that, collectively, we all went “Awwww” should absolutely be celebrated. Also, if you need your own stuffed monkey friend — and don’t we all, from time to time — it’s $15.99 at Ikea, although unsurprisingly, Djungelskog is currently sold out. Sorry, that was bad news. I forgot the brief.

Here’s some more good news. While we’re all worried that AI is going to take our jobs and turn on us in unimaginably horrific ways, Australian scientists have used it for good by teaching it to detect women with a high risk of breast cancer who had previously been given the all clear.

The AI tool can pick up risk factors that humans can’t see, making it way more effective at identifying risk, which I’m sure we can all agree is a far better use of AI than asking it what our dogs would look like if they were human. And before you say “Pfft as if anyone would ever do that” I would like to point out that according to AI, my dog is a very hot hipster barista, and it’s not wrong.

Look, I’ll be honest, it wasn’t easy to find good news stories. You actually have to really hunt for them, which says a lot about the state of the world right now, and also says a lot about our insatiable appetite for grim news.

So my best advice is to look around and notice something positive if you can, whether it’s a perfectly flaky croissant, or a particularly cheerful bird, or the fact that footy’s back (although as an avowed Eagles supporter, I’m not sure that’s good news at all).

I hope you find your positive this week.