Robert Drewe: The Time of the Dog

National honour is satisfied. For 12 tense months it looked like we’d lost the title we’d held for 85 years. But then, Guinness World Records reviewed the credentials of the foreign usurper, and our Bluey again became the world’s oldest dog. Ever.

When Bluey, a working Australian cattle dog owned by Les Hall of Rochester, Victoria, died on November 14, 1939, she was 29 years and five months old, and her record age was enshrined internationally.

But in February 2023, owners of a Portuguese mastiff named Bobi, from Conqueiros in Portugal, claimed the title.

They said Bobi had been alive for 31 years and 165 days. Following Bobi’s death in October, however, concerns were raised by veterinarians about the dog’s longevity.

“Not a single one of my veterinary colleagues believe Bobi was actually 31 years old,” veterinarian Danny Chambers told The Guardian.

Guinness began a review of the longevity claims.

“We take tremendous pride in the accuracy and integrity of our record titles,” said Mark McKinley, director of records at GWR.

As the Portuguese Government didn’t require proof of age for dogs born before 2008, Bobi was stripped of the title last week.

Coincidentally, a comprehensive new study from UK canine welfare organisation Dogs Trust estimated the lifespans of 155 breeds and discovered smaller breeds like Tibetan spaniels and Shiba Inus typically lived the longest, whereas big breeds including mastiffs and St Bernards lived shorter lives.

The study analysed data from 500,000 dogs to investigate how breed, body size, sex, and face shape affected their life expectancy.

The study found the median life expectancy for all dogs was 12½ years.

But the purebreds that tended to live longer were Lancashire heelers, Tibetan spaniels, Shiba Inus, papillons, and Lakeland terriers. The purebreds most at risk of early death were Caucasian shepherds, Presa Canarios, Newfoundlands, mastiffs, Cane Corsos and St Bernards, all with a 20 per cent greater risk of dying younger than small dogs.

In addition to body size, the study found sex and face shape also influenced longevity. Male dogs (like other mammals) generally live shorter lives than females.

Moreover, dogs with flat faces, like French bulldogs, boxers and pugs, commonly experience breathing problems and heart disease, and have a 40 per cent higher risk of early death than dogs with medium-length faces, like Labradors or golden retrievers.

Of course if my local coffee shop is any indication, the question on everyone’s lips now is “What about the life span of my darling schnoodle? Labradoodle? Cavoodle? Cockapoo?” The jury is still out on that.

The study said the cross-breeding of designer dogs maybe minimised the likelihood of pre-existing genetic diseases being passed along. But by crossing two breeds, you also doubled the chance of passing along health issues.

So are mutts healthier than purebreds or not? All I know is the bitzers roaming my childhood neighbourhood, chasing cars and joyfully interrupting sporting events, seemed to live forever.

By now, I was beginning to obsess about pet longevity.

What about cats? Guinness records that Creme Puff (1967–2005) of Austin, Texas, is the oldest verified cat, at 38 years.

Creme Puff reportedly enjoyed bacon, eggs and asparagus every morning, along with an “eyedropper” of red wine every other day.

The oldest age reliably recorded for a horse is 62 years for Old Billy, of Woolston, Lancashire, who died in 1822. The oldest thoroughbred ever was a 42-year-old chestnut gelding in Barongarook, Victoria: Tango Duke died in 1978.

Meanwhile, the longest-living parrot was Cocky Bennett, a legendary Sydney character. The sulphur-crested cockatoo died in 1916 at the ripe old age of 120. He lived at the Sea Breeze Hotel, Blakehurst, and was known for his patter, including “One feather more and I’ll fly” (he was featherless for his last 20 years) and “One at a time, gentlemen, please” when harassed by other birds.

Which brings me to budgies. According to the Guinness people, the oldest budgerigar who ever lived was Charlie, an English bird who lived to be 29 years and two months.

In this time of the dog, when everyone seems to have a curly-haired fur-baby by their side, in their bed, under their feet, in the park and, above all, in the coffee shop, an important pet question occurs. Yes, dogs rule. But whatever happened to budgies?

If cats are having a tough time keeping up with dogs’ huge surge in popularity, imagine how sad and neglected is the average domestic budgerigar — if there are any these days.

A generation or two back, most households kept a budgie. For grandmas they were compulsory pets. “Who’s a pretty boy then? Kiss me quick!” they (the budgies) would say, several hundred times a day.

Who’s kissing them now?