Editor’s Desk: Dogs increasingly rule the world, we just live in it to serve them

I’d like to believe in reincarnation. And if I could choose to come back as anyone or anything, right up there would be a dog — a spoilt, pampered pooch. We are increasingly living in a dog’s world. No doubt about it. And we mere humans are just the passengers — no, peasants — who communicate in baby talk and pay for everything so the real masters want for nothing. It did not surprise me in the least to read a story this week in The West Australian about a South West council considering rolling out a bunch of “dog hydration stations” at its public spaces and dog parks at just under $10,000 a pop. So many of us these days are proud dog owners, and want the best for our canine buddies, with so many ideas, options, ventures trying to outdo each other. Although a plain bowl of water costing less than $20 would do the same trick? But I’ve lost count of the money I’ve spent — and wasted (why does he need a dog bed or a kennel when he has my bed or the lounge at his disposal?) — on my dog Alfie since he was a puppy almost five years ago. There’s the gourmet food and biscuits, the best of the best treats, vet care, pet insurance, toys that get ripped apart within minutes, special dental care remedies, doggy day care, installing doggy doors, regular grooms, cleaning furniture and mats that have been used as a peeing station. The list goes on. I often find myself coming out of a pet store having spent more than I do on myself during a visit to the grocery store. And I don’t hesitate to take Alfie, or his feline brother Ted, to the vet at the slightest hint of an ailment, but yet endlessly procrastinate about and postpone my own health issues. And vets are shrewd. They can charge through the roof, knowing pet owners will find a way to pay up. My latest trip to the vet after my cat developed an abscess on his head left me more than $200 out of pocket and all it involved was the vet wiping away a bit of puss and handing me some medicine. Some people might call me crazy, but I know for a fact I’m far from alone. A report last year from Animal Medicines Australia, titled Pets and the Pandemic, claims dog owners spend an average each year of $3200 per dog and cat owners an average of $2100 per cat. That’s a total of $20.5 billion last year spent by dog owners, and $10.2 billion by cat owners. It is crazy when you look at it in those terms. Especially when I consider the garbage disposal unit that is my dog is probably just as happy chowing down on a can of My Dog than the home-made food I cook him or buy for him at the pet store. I’m not lying when I say I would like to be reincarnated as a dog. You’re everyone’s best friend, you get spoilt, you get the run of the house when everyone’s away, you can sleep all day and when you do something naughty all you have to do is switch on the puppy dog eyes and all is forgiven. Every room Alfie enters there’s a person waiting to give him a pat or a cuddle. With me, I win if I get a hi or a raised head. It really is a dog’s life.