Editor’s Desk: Double standards over Grace Tame’s icy exchange with Scott Morrison is a case of casual sexism

Grace Tame didn’t throw an egg at Scott Morrison. She didn’t spit in his face. She didn’t berate him or call him any names. But in the minds of many people who criticised the outgoing Australian of the Year and sexual abuse survivor this week for her frosty exchange with the PM, she did something worse — she didn’t smile and she let her emotions show all over her face. The naysayers say she should have stayed away from the event at The Lodge rather than being rude to Scomo in his own home. But we live in a democratic society where people have the right to protest. I don’t agree with many protests that take place but I respect the right for people to have that platform to voice their views and concerns. I suspect this was Ms Tame’s deliberate attempt at a political protest. She knew she had a platform and she had every right to be at that event to represent her cause and in her role even if she had to partake in an awkward greeting and photo with someone she does not respect. Yes, there is an argument to mount for respecting the office of the Prime Minister despite who the PM is. But when that PM has been a proven hindrance to furthering the cause you are passionate about, you may feel the same as Ms Tame. Remember this is the man whose Government made a mess of dealing with the sexual misconduct scandal that engulfed Federal Parliament last year and the same man who admitted he was encouraged into taking action by his wife’s reminder that he had daughters, rather than a human being with a conscience. Another thing this incident highlights is the double standards still facing women. Would the public outcry have been as prominent if the person giving the PM a steely glare and icy side-eye was a man rather than a young woman who advocates a cause many men still find too confronting? One of my pet hates is being told by strangers, or even people I know, to “smile”, even when I have a damn good reason not to smile (plus, people who smile ALL the time creep me out). Women know this all too well. It’s a casual form of sexism that happens all the time, much more than it does to men. It’s a sad reality that many men out there still can’t handle the idea of women acting how they feel or being anything other than bright, bubbly, breezy and accommodating. Anything else and they pigeon-hole those women as being “difficult” or a “b....” or “overly emotional”. Looking back, there have been firefighters and fire victims who have refused to shake Scomo’s hand, people who have shouted in his face and idiotic protesters who have egged him. And back in 2019, commissioner Kenneth Hayne refused to smile for an awkward staged photo shoot with Treasurer Josh Frydenberg when handing over the banking royal commission final report. But those cases attracted nowhere near the heated debate as Ms Tame’s, well, tame “protest”. So what exactly did she do that was so galling and why was the backlash so fierce? Let’s put it into perspective. She shook Scomo’s hand (albeit begrudgingly), acknowledged him with a “g’day”, accepted his congratulations over her recent engagement and then side-glared at him during a quick photo. And for that she’s been described as insolent, rude, immature and childish. Problematic words to use when considering what Ms Tame endured as a child and has overcome since. So what if she didn’t want to just plaster on a smile and pretend to be fake nice? All this hoopla over the brief encounter has detracted from the event and passing the baton to the next Australian of the Year. And that choice — tennis champion, Paralympic gold medallist and disability advocate Dylan Alcott — is a terrific one, who will undoubtedly be less controversial than his predecessor. It’s a shame it’s taken this long for a person with a disability to receive the honour. Let me end this column with a hypothetical. This time next year — after Scomo has said or done something to offend Mr Alcott and the disability community, the pair meet up for the obligatory photo shoot at The Lodge. It’s awkward, Mr Alcott doesn’t smile and you can tell he’d rather not be there in the same space as Scotty from marketing. Or maybe it’s Albo if he wins the poll in coming months. What would the public think of that? My bet is most people would be on Mr Alcott’s side and wouldn’t be so quick to rip into him over the minor issue of not smiling and refusing to put on a facade. Sometimes you just get sick of grinning and bearing the double standards.