Hayes got a nerve

He may have been the hero of the Batavia mutiny but to this early morning riser, Wiebbe Hayes’ head is for squatting on. The statue of Hayes in the middle of town provided the seagull with the ideal place to ponder what lay ahead for the day. The gull looked towards the Abrolhos islands, where nearly 400 years ago Hayes became a legend, after leading a stranded party from East Wallabi to West Wallabi island and finding food and water. Then, informed by escapees of the bloodshed on Beacon Island, he organised a defence of his companions by repelling attacks from Jeronimus Cornelisz, which saved untold lives. But history mattered little to this seagull last Wednesday morning, who didn’t even show respect when it was time to use the toilet.