Mother of Geraldton road crash victim Justyce Potaka-Kumeroa on the grief of his Christmas Eve anniversary

Christmas will never be the same for Marere Potaka and her family, with the time of year usually reserved for celebration being irretrievably linked to the worst moment of her life. On Christmas Eve 2022, Ms Potaka’s 17-year-old son Justyce Potaka-Kumeroa lost his life in a car crash on Marine Terrace. For his family, 2023 has been spent trying to pick up the pieces of losing their son and brother, and seeking answers to the tragedy. They have gained strength from their Christian faith and Maori culture, as the community joined them in their grieving process. Justyce was a talented and aspiring basketballer and his club, Olympians, retired his No. 14 jersey in a touching gesture testament to the teenager’s impact on and off the court. Even in her darkest times, Ms Potaka has taken the time to acknowledge the people offering support. “This year I met the most broken version of myself. Thank you to the most selfless people on the planet,” she said. Now, the one-year mark is approaching and Ms Potaka is facing a festive period filled with sorrow. In a tribute post, the grieving mum wrote: “17 years we had you. You lived the true definition of life to the fullest, Justy.” “2023 for me has been a year of survival,” she said, acknowledging her grief will last as long as her love for her son. It’s an impossible question: how do you spend Christmas when it’s marred by such tragedy? But Ms Potaka remains composed and firm in her faith. “There is nothing anyone can say or do that actually helps. I hope this makes sense, but there have been no words that have been said to me through this year that have helped me heal, not really. All my strength and hope comes from God, it really is as simple as that,” she said. For Ms Potaka, grief is not a straightforward system of steps or stages until you reach a light at the end of the tunnel. But her other children were also front and centre of her mind in how to approach Christmas. “To think of what we have been through and are going through now as having an end, to me it’s ridiculous,” she said. “I know that Christmas will never be the same, not this year, not next year, not when I am 80 years old. This time of year will always be about Justy. “I do find time, especially for my younger kids, to enjoy the holidays, to just be in the moment, to be with them when they are happy. But then I am wrenched back out and I find myself going down again. My faith helps, scripture helps, being close to God it all helps.” When a house fire claimed the life of a teenage boy in June, and badly injured two others, Ms Potaka felt compelled to speak out against harmful social media speculation and gossip, urging the community to focus on supporting the grieving families and show empathy and compassion. Ms Potaka and her family had to endure online speculation and assumptions about the nature of Justyce’s death. For nine months the family patiently awaited a coroner’s report to confirm the cause of death. Ms Potaka revealed the coroner had ruled a medical episode, not suicide, likely caused Justyce’s death. She felt vindicated, having always steadfastly maintained that Justyce would never have deliberately ended his own life. Ms Potaka and her family want to share this time with those closest to Justyce and have organised a fitting celebration of his life. Friends and family have been invited to a memorial service on Christmas Eve. “The beach was his third home, if he wasn’t at the GABA (basketball stadium) he was at the beach. So what better place to celebrate him?” Ms Potaka said. “If you knew Justyce — friends, family, teammates — you are all welcome to come. I just want people to be normal around us, I know that sounds strange, I would rather that than walking on eggshells or trying to offer advice. ‘We want to celebrate who Justyce was, who he still is to me and my kids and close loved ones. It’s the only thing that seems right at the moment.”