Opinion with Melissa Perry: Putting the focus on Youth Intimate Partner Violence during 16 Days in WA campaign

During the 16 Days in WA 2022 campaign, Communicare and White Ribbon Australia are calling on communities to come together and start a conversation about practical solutions to end men’s violence against women and children. The 16 Days in WA campaign runs from November 25 (International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women) to December 10 (Human Rights Day). The campaign takes its inspiration from the global 16 Day of Activism against Gender-Based Violence. On White Ribbon Day (November 18) Communicare Geraldton came together to start a conversation about the use of Youth Intimate Partner Violence by adolescent males. This violence can start young, in the teenage years or even earlier. It can’t be brushed off as just a difficult or hormonal phase that young men are going through; it all comes down to making a choice to use violence. Sadly, this behaviour is often used because they know it all too well watching their fathers use violence against women, usually their mothers. What does this look like? It’s the 15-year-old male adolescent controlling his 14-year-old girlfriend about who she can see and speak to, where she goes and what she does. If she doesn’t agree or disobeys, it leads to physical violence. It’s a 17-year-old male adolescent who has learnt from his childhood that using a chokehold on his young girlfriend is a way to gain power and control and maintain compliance with his demands. It’s the 16-year-old male adolescent who uses jealousy as an excuse for his stalking behaviour and verbal insults towards his girlfriend. This isn’t just what happens in other parts of the country; it’s what we see in Geraldton. As young men grow up, they are exposed to a lot of ideas about what it means to “be a man”. It can seem like there is a set of rules about how men should think and act, rules that tell us things like “boys don’t cry”, or that we need to “man up” or “toughen up” when we need support. Ideas that men are in control; they have the power. These ideas can be passed from fathers to sons, spread by mates, or thrown around at sports clubs. Not only can these ideas be harmful to young men, they can also lead to an acceptance of sexism, and even violence against women. It’s often the young men who are most invested in being seen as a “real man” who turn to violence. In the domestic violence space, we put a lot of focus on adult intimate partner relationships and the violence, coercive control and abuse that occurs within them. But it’s also critical to address Youth Intimate Partner Violence, as this is often not recognised, is misunderstood, and therefore not reported. If we don’t put a focus on this problem now, the violence and abuse being used by young men today will continue to be used by adult perpetrators tomorrow and into the future. Often the level of violence escalates into adulthood as other contributing factors come into play. As we said in this year’s White Ribbon Day theme, Let’s Be the Change. Communicare Geraldton provides specialist men’s behaviour change group programs. These programs play a critical role in engaging, motivating, and working towards attitudinal and behaviour change for men who use violence. The 16 Days in WA campaign to stop gendered-violence is a great opportunity for men from 17 years of age to find out more about how they can have important conversations about making change. They can do this by volunteering to participate in the Safe and Empowered Family’s, men’s behaviour change program. The program supports men through the change process with practical discussions and tools. They can also visit the Digital Barber Shop on the White Ribbon Australia website, where they can learn more about what respectful relationships look like and what they can do to change outdated attitudes and stereotypes about masculinity. Let’s be the change and help our young men and boys to understand respect, equality and what it means to be a good son, brother, father, uncle, and husband. Let’s end the cycle of violence before it begins. If you would like to contact the Geraldton Communicare team, please email snairn@communicare.org.au. Melissa Perry is CEO of Communicare & White Ribbon Australia 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) Men’s Referral Service 1300 766 491