Opinion with Sandra Carr MLC: If men unwilling to change their attitudes and actions, what are we achieving?

Today I visited the page Counting Dead Women.

It’s a page that keeps count of every known death caused by violence against women in Australia each year.

The current count for 2024 is 10, and from recent news reports, there are likely more to be counted. We’ve only just entered March.

Yet the first comment I read on the page was from a man who tagged his male friend and wrote: “Counting dead women sounds like fun. Do you just (wait) your turn, or can you bring your own.” The friend he tagged has daughters.

So sure, International Women’s Day is nice, but you know what is even better?

Men not trivialising violence against women. Men not murdering women. Men not using violence in their homes. Men not using coercive control and economic abuse against women. Men not committing acts of sexual violence. Perpetrators looking in the mirror and knowing they are the problem, that they need to change — and a community that makes it clear where they can find the help to change.

Communities taking responsibility and not making excuses for poor, entitled, and atrocious behaviour that harms, demeans, sexualises, and minimises the role of women and girls.

Boys who have been taught by their community to know and understand what violence, disrespect and microaggressions look and sound like.

Teaching our boys about respect, consent, and equality. Whole communities of all genders, colours and creeds taking responsibility, accountability, and action to create genuine, effective, structural change.

So sure, IWD is great, and I certainly support women recognising the day, but I am not going to pretend we don’t all need to take a long, uncomfortable, and unflinching look at ourselves and ask: If the room we’re celebrating it in is less than 50 per cent men — what are we really achieving?

Sandra Carr is an MLC for the Agricultural Region