Smashed Gero review: The Greenough cafe going over and above — alpacas and all

As somebody relatively new to Geraldton, I know what it feels like not to have a date to take to breakfast. For the first few — and by few, I mean eight — months I lived here, I went stag everywhere my boyfriend couldn’t tag along. If only I’d known about Greenough Cafe, where a date with an alpaca is part of the breakfast package. The cafe is also the admission centre for the town’s historic settlement, meaning it’s inside a beautiful limestone building. The outdoor seating area has a huge old tree that’s likely been alive much longer than I have. Greenough is far enough from the city to feel like a bit of a day trip, but close enough to sleep late and still make it in time to order off the cafe’s breakfast menu, which doesn’t finish up till 11am. I went on a sunny, dry morning. I should have worn a wide- brimmed hate with hanging corks because the fly situation was less than desirable. Luckily, the venue has ample indoor seating to help diners escape their wrath. The menu offering at the Greenough Cafe isn’t trying to prove anything to anyone. It’s sweet, short and simple, with each menu item just given a number. I imagine this is a relic from “the old days” when buses full of tourists who didn’t speak English would visit the cafe and enjoy the novelty of a western breakfast before pulling out their selfie sticks and posing with an alpaca. I was a little disappointed it didn’t have a big veggie brekky option, especially since the big options couldn’t be altered. I ordered the toasted vegetarian Turkish roll sans egg, with tomato, a hash brown, spinach and cheese — also known as choice four. Meanwhile, my date ordered choice seven, which included sourdough bread topped with smashed avocado, baby spinach, bacon, fried egg, mushrooms, cherry tomatoes, fetta, and drizzled with hollandaise sauce — a loaded dish, killing most breakfast birds with one hefty stone. At first, I had some pretty overwhelming food envy but after digging into my dish, my skin turned from green back to the shade of mild sunburn. It was a very basic dish, but that didn’t stop me thoroughly enjoying it. A few simple ingredients on a plate can taste pretty good, especially when all the produce is fresh and crunchy and when you’ve only been charged $11. That said, choice seven looked worth the extra $6. My date brought up how good the fetta was every time there was a lull in conversation, so I assume it was pretty remarkable. Her only complaint was that the bread could have used a few extra minutes in the toaster. The small pieces didn’t quite have the structural integrity to support the generous helping of toppings. Greenough Cafe goes above and beyond its purpose. Back when flying internationally wasn’t a global health risk, it probably could have turned a profit serving sausage rolls, hot chips and Bubble O’Bills. But, despite having basically no competition, the cafe offers something a little bit special. To me, that’s a clear sign the people behind the counter care about what they’re doing — and why they’re still attracting local customers, who already have enough alpaca selfies.