Soul Food with Pia Richardson: My personal story about the importance of consent culture for society, our kids

A few months ago I posted a polite reminder on the Geraldton Noticeboard that it is no longer appropriate for strangers to touch babies without asking permission — not only due to COVID, but also due to the changing world we live in. I was met with a very broad spectrum of responses, from unwavering support to being told people like me are what is wrong with the world. I was accused of being anti-community, of telling people how to raise their children and of being pedantic and self-important. It really highlighted something for me - the divide between the old and new. Once upon a time it was perfectly acceptable to force your child to hug a stranger in the interest of good manners but let’s be honest, in those days children were seen and not heard and wives were the property of their husbands. We live in a different world now and with that comes a different way of being. There may be some who believe consent culture has been taken too far and I’m sure there are circumstances where it has. However, this emerging trend is the foundation on which a nation of emotionally strong, respectful and well-informed adults are born and it is vital to the development of our society. Consent culture is the enemy of things like rape culture and coercive control, and we can to use it to create strong healthy communities where we are able to safely interact with each other in a way that feels comfortable for all involved. And as much as you might think it is pandering to a fringe minority — it’s not. You see, when I was 16 years of age, I was sexually assaulted. However, I was raised in a time where these things weren’t really talked about. We were not taught about consent or bodily autonomy or healthy boundaries, so when this happened I didn’t even know I had been assaulted. I simply believed that I had it coming. I was young, frivolous and drank too much. I did not consider my safety and put myself in a position where I was able to be taken advantage of — and if someone hadn’t told me that that young man had committed a crime, I never would have known. My story is one of many. Consent culture is not just about ensuring that these things don’t happen — it is about making sure our young people know they have rights. That they have just as much right to say no to an old lady pinching their face in the supermarket as they do to someone who means them physical or emotional harm. It is about educating our younger generation so that not only when their boundaries are challenged are they able to kindly and firmly reinforce them, but will also have an inherent sense of respect for the boundaries of others. It is about creating a world that we can feel good about our children growing up in. 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) Pia Richardson is the co-owner of Railway Health Hub, managing director of Crossroads Life, and runs Soul Food Cafe.