Testing times for those trying to be ‘connected’

I had plenty of feedback from a recent column on my inability to control my mobile phone in public (What goes around, 13/12).

It was mostly advice from those who think that folk like me should have to pass some sort of test before we are allowed to walk the streets with such a dangerous device.

Not that I am inclined to disagree ... the mobile phone test could be modelled along the same lines as your basic driver’s licence.

There would be a requirement to clock up 50 hours under supervision, to make sure you were capable of dealing with the challenges that being on the phone brings.

And then during the test (done online, of course), you would be confronted with a range of scenarios that had to be negotiated.

For example, that call to a government department where you are given numbers to choose from and then put on hold before being disconnected.

An angry caller is not a good caller.

Start again Mr W, except this time don’t punch the numbers in so quickly.

Yes, I think the idea of a mobile phone licence is perfect.

Naturally, you would carry your MP (mobile phone) credentials with you); you’d carry it in your purse or wallet.

And it would be compulsory.

It could be used to identify you, to those in authority, who need to know it’s you they’re dealing with, and not a fake you.

And like a driver’s licence, the phone would also need to be passed as fit to use.

A cracked screen would see it off the wi-fi network until the hazard was removed.

Becoming a skilled user of a mobile phone would mean, that as the receiver of calls, you’d know when someone selling insurance is calling.

Yes, a mobile phone test, or a cell test for the nation of Trump, to obtain a licence is obviously the way to go.

Naturally, I’d never pass.

“That’s funny, we seem to have been disconnected.”