Darcy Scaife: Parents of teen who died by suicide say City of Mandurah is ‘callous’ for removing memorial

The parents of a Mandurah teen who took his own life say the City of Mandurah need to show more empathy after it removed an unsanctioned memorial plaque they laid to remember him on a bench at a beach in Halls Head. Joanne Scaife and Mark Lynning visit the bench at a small carpark that leads down to a stretch of coast known as Back Beach near their home in Halls Head almost every day to remember their son Darcy Scaife, who died by suicide in 2018 at the age of 18. Darcy often spent time surfing there, and it was where his family chose to scatter his ashes and where his friends held a paddle out to remember him after his death. Darcy’s sister Bronte and their friends installed the plaque on the bench about five and a half years ago to provide a permanent place for them to remember him in the place he loved. His friends and family gather there on his birthdays and on the anniversary of his death. On Thursday morning, when Ms Scaife and Mr Lynning regularly visited the spot to remember their beloved son, they were appalled to see the plaque missing from the bench. Initially, they suspected it had been stolen, but after Mr Lynning called the City of Mandurah, they discovered the city had removed the plaque. The couple said they were told over the phone by a worker at the city that the plaque was removed because it had been placed unofficially, and they had not opted to buy a city memorial seat, which they were told costs $1400. Ms Scaife said she was distraught after seeing her son’s plaque was missing. “I was just a mess,” she said. “His ashes are there. We come here nearly every other day. “His mates come here, his family, it’s like our own cemetery. “It’s not like this place is busy, except in summer, maybe a little bit, but no one really comes here. It wasn’t hurting anyone.” Mr Lynning described the plaque’s removal as “a bit of a callous act” and said he was told over the phone by a city worker that the plaque could not be re-laid and that if they wanted to retain the memorial there, they would need to pay $1400 to put in a dedicated memorial seat for Darcy. Mr Lynning said he did not understand why the city removed the plaque and said Darcy’s friends who put into the bench “did a good job” and it had nothing poking out that would injure anyone. “For it to have been there five and a half, six years, it just seems like someone’s done an audit in the office and gone, oh, that shouldn’t be there,” he said. “There wasn’t any attempt to contact us. “I just think it’s no foul, play on — it wasn’t hurting anyone. It wasn’t causing any problems. “I don’t think there was a complaint about it, and I just think they (the city) must have noticed that that’s not a proper memorial seat.” The Times contacted the City of Mandurah for comment. “The placement of memorial plaques is highly emotive, and the City strives to work with families seeking to memorialise their loved ones in a compassionate and sympathetic way,” CEO Casey Mihovilovich said. “Unfortunately, in this instance, this was an unapproved plaque. “This means that we could not make contact with the family before its removal. “We are sorry for the angst that this has caused for the family, and we will seek to work with them to find a suitable resolution.” The couple said Darcy’s friends often visited the seat to take time out when they were going through hard times, and it had helped them deal with his passing. The bench sits next to another bench, which also features a memorial plaque and is still in place, but it is unclear if that is a city-approved memorial. Both official and unofficial memorials are a common sight at beach access seating areas and paths along Mandurah’s coastline. In the same carpark, another memorial plaque paying a tribute, which appears much less professional, is nailed to the wooden fence that leads down to the beach. Mr Lynning said he was also told by the worker he spoke to that the city would repair the hole left on the bench where the plaque had been. Although the couple were able to get the plaque back from the city’s office, they were unsure if they would put it back on Darcy’s bench or pay for a replacement memorial bench because of the meaning behind the original plaque being laid by Darcy’s sister and friends. Mr Lynning said the city could have been “more empathetic” in their decision to enforce its memorial rules. “They (Darcy’s friends) could have sprayed graffiti everywhere, and the city would have had to clean it up,” he said. “And instead, they did something constructive and put up this nice plaque. “To come here and just see it removed, and then to find out that the City of Mandurah had done it, I just think it’s pretty callous and unnecessary, and financially it’s illogical. “It would be nice to put it back. We still can come to the beach, it’s still Darcy’s bench. “It’s just a shame they (the city) weren’t more empathetic about it.” Lifeline: 13 11 14