Andrew Leech: Impending kid’s social media ban will test us

From the outside, social media bans seem to be a good thing. They shield our children under 16 from harmful, influential content they might spend hours scrolling through. They protect them from influencers and material they are too young to grasp — content that creates a false “perfect” world in their minds and sets expectations about how they should look and act, who has the most friends, who’s popular, and who’s not.

Social media also offers a 24/7 platform for bullying, shaming, and abusive behaviours that can send a teen’s mental health into a spiral. This change will help parents feel more in control of what has previously been hard to monitor and stressful to understand.

However, there are deeper issues that perhaps haven’t been discussed enough in the lead up to December 10, when the new rules come into effect. Whether we like it or not, this generation uses technology to connect with friends, and social media is a central part of that.

Their online world is a significant part of their social life. It’s not just where they are influenced, but also where many share their struggles, send photos, interact after school, and stay connected with their peer groups. For teens who haven’t used social media yet, many say it feels more difficult — they worry about what they’re missing, who’s talking about them, and what’s being said.

Here’s the thing. Under the new law, platforms are required to prevent under-16s from having social media accounts, including deactivating existing under-16 accounts. That will also mean losing easy access to conversations, connections, friends and photos held inside those accounts.

Some families may consider workarounds, such as using their parents’ account, but there are risks associated with this approach. If a teenager (or their friend) shares a nude image, that can have serious legal and safety implications. That parent may not realise the severity of the risk that could come with having this content on their phone, including being liable for child pornography.

And what about the countless conversations, images, and friendships formed over years online? Access will be lost, conversations and photos will be deleted, and their account will be shut down. We don’t yet know how this will unfold. I recommend that parents sit down with their teen now and back up any important information they may want to keep. We also aren’t exactly sure what losing the ability to contact friends or continue online chats will mean, because we haven’t been in this situation before.

The parent in me thinks this will be tough at first, but could lead to positives: more real-world engagement, better sleep, more family time and exercise, and fewer hours lost to endless scrolling. Phone use might return to how it was intended — texting and calling rather than rabbit holes of influential content.

But the doctor in me worries about a sudden disconnection for vulnerable teens who rely on online spaces to stay connected. Teens with mental health difficulties often use these platforms as a lifeline or a space to debrief. My neurodiverse teens, who may find face-to-face interactions exhausting and anxiety-provoking but thrive online, could be hit hardest. I haven’t seen any advice, support or education for parents about this side of things and how to support their teen if they are struggling with it.

I’ve had real-world experiences with families where a two-week phone ban has unintentionally led to self-harm or a suicide note — teens aren’t developmentally able to understand or deal with something so sudden and so drastic, even when the parent and adult in us sees it as a good thing. For some, this is the reality. They struggle to control impulses and aren’t ready for abrupt change. We haven’t had time to fully consider the risks or how to guide teens through what is now weeks away.

I hope that those who are socially isolated in the real world are given the support and guidance they need to navigate this change and that parents are offered clear education on what to do if things go wrong, but so far I don’t think parents are fully aware of what is about to take place and what to do if they run into challenges. Have open, ongoing conversations with your teen so that everyone understands the changes and feels safe reaching out for help when needed.

What Parents Can Do Now

• Have a calm, honest conversation early — don’t wait until the deadline looms. Talk about the changes, why they’re happening, and what your teen thinks and fears.
• Save important material, such as photos, messages, contacts, and group chats, before account deactivation occurs.
• Negotiate boundaries and alternatives together. Perhaps a shared account or come up with your own parent-managed account, but establish clear boundaries. Create a family digital transition plan that works for you and your teen.
• Teach digital resilience skills. Such as how to express when they are anxious, not sleeping, having friendship problems. Teach them how to seek help, manage conflict, recognise manipulation, and navigate peer pressure online. Use experts, such as psychologists, your GP, your school, and those who understand it.
• Create more offline connections. This is good for family mental well-being and should be a non-negotiable. Schedule face-to-face hangouts, family time or a weekly family dinner where there is no technology, go for walks, get back outside.
• Be alert to warning signs - changes in mood, secretiveness, withdrawal, or increased risk behaviours. Respond with curiosity, support and connection, not punishment. Seek help from your GP if you feel lost and unsure how to support your teen.
• Line up professional help. If your teen is already vulnerable, arrange for them to see a counsellor, psychologist or school wellbeing service. You may be eligible for a mental health plan that provides some financial support for these appointments.
• Stay informed and supported. You’re not alone, we are all going through this. Use resources from trusted bodies (such as eSafety) and parent networks to guide you.

Dr Andrew Leech is a GP and the director of the Garden Family Medical Clinic