Opinion: Prince Harry tried to live in the institution that broke his mother. Meghan Markle showed him there was another way

A few years ago there was a photo doing the rounds on the internet of a young Prince William in a white bow tie and Kate Middleton dressed in jeans casually embracing. The image from 2005 was turned into a meme with an alleged quote from Kate saying “He’s lucky to have me” and the Commonwealth cracked itself up. At the time, Kate was tabloid fodder for being Will’s long-term, on-again, off-again girlfriend. She — the daughter from new-money commoners — was mercilessly mocked by the press for her clothes, chased by paparazzi on her way to work and labelled “Waity Katy” for hanging in there until William finally proposed with Princess Diana’s blue sapphire sparkler in late 2010. The meme has now come full circle. Especially in light of the most recent news of William’s brother announcing he’s quitting the family business. Wills and wider royal family are lucky to have someone like Kate. She appears to be born to help rule and has committed her life to upholding the traditions of the monarchy while gently helping nudge it forward. It’s only now, years into her tenure as wife to the heir, that she has stepped up in her solo duties. The same should be said about Meghan, Duchess of Sussex. Someone who appears to also be born to rule, albeit just her household not the House of Windsor. A woman who is (partially) walking away from everything QEII offered her new dynamic granddaughter-in-law, with this desire to “step down” from a job she’s been in for less than two years. But at the core of this whole saga is Harry. A kid who has always loathed the spotlight, grew up in the midst of a toxic marriage and its subsequent breakdown and struggled for years with mental health issues, Harry, as he told Tom Bradby while filming his and Meghan’s now infamous documentary last year, never got over his mother’s death. Not that anyone ever would. Meeting someone like Meghan has potentially shown him there is another way to live. A life he can build on the basis of happiness and harmony instead of history. A world where he can be king of his own domain instead of a peripheral prince. A telling sign that things were about to blow up was during their first TV interview following their engagement back in 2017. Unlike Prince Charles and his coy bride-to-be, Diana, and William and Kate’s reserved fireside chat, this was a couple who were going to rattle the gilded cage from the outset. Meghan, a strong-willed 30-something woman, dominated the chat and Harry stared at her in awe. When speaking of their first meeting — a blind date set up by a mutual friend — the prince, the world’s most eligible bachelor who’s never been hard up for company, said he felt he had to “up his game” and made sure “he had good chat”. The most important decision you can make in your life is who you choose as your partner. Experts say it’s crucial to find one who supports you whether that’s through a bout of gastro or great times. One who gives you the courage to be best version of yourself. One who pushes you with one hand towards progression while simultaneously resting the other on the small of your back whispering: “I’ve got you”. William found that with compassionate and patient Kate, Harry appears to have discovered this comfort and support with “outsider” Meghan. To the outside, the Duke of Sussex is acting like a pampered trust-fund kid with a wife who is tearing the family and the Firm apart. Alternatively, resigning could be his royal version of Eat, Pray, Love. A great move for his mental health according to Jurie Rossouw, co-founder of Driven — an AI chatbot to help build resilience and improve mental health. “Their purpose seems to be to raise their son how they want, and create space to live how they want to live,” Mr Rossouw said. “When they say they intend to step back as ‘senior’ members of the royal family and work to become financially independent, this shows that they have a vision. Having this is crucial for ones mental health, and will lead to them to lead happier lives.” If that is the case, they’d be better placed to go seek purpose in Ubud rather than pledge to keep living with publicly funded bodyguards inside expensive British and US compounds.