Home and Away: Baddies are holding the kids hostage in a shipping container

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Stephanie McKennaThe West Australian
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The yellow beacon.
Camera IconThe yellow beacon. Credit: Channel 7

A kidnapping isn’t supposed to evoke laughter but here I am actually having a giggle out loud at my desk while my colleagues are diligently working away.

Some baddies have kidnapped the four kids – Bella, Nikau, Ryder and Chloe - and they’re being held hostage in a shipping container.

One of the boys yells out “don’t touch her”. I’m not sure who it is, but it doesn’t really matter.

Chloe thinks she’s sprained her ankle which is supposed to heighten the tension but it’s so overdone, it’s more like comic relief.

It’s also quite dark. So it’s a whole lot of voices with flashes of Bella’s bright yellow rain coat which indicate that we’re back in the shipping container because most of the episode is night scenes which is really difficult to see during broad daylight.

But I digress. Back to the kidnapping.

The kids yell out without much terror in their voices and bang on the walls.

But never fear because Ryder is not just a cocktail aficionado, he’s also been watching a lot of YouTube and literally breaks his cable ties and sets himself free before saving his friends.

Once again it’s really dark so we’re not sure how he managed this feat but it’s probably for the best because breaking them open in reality isn’t possible.

The kids continue to yell out a few token lines.

“We could die in here” one of them says.

While the kids are considering their grim fate, Ari is having another D&M with Mia.

“I’ll never hurt you like that ever again,” Ari says.

“I’m different now.”

They producers are really getting good mileage out of this script by repeating the same conversation every few days.

Tane gets home and interrupts the moment but they get back to it and reminisce about the good old times.

“We could have it all again,” Tane says.

Mia is pretending to be coy and that she’s not into it, but a moment later they kiss passionately in the front doorway - so anyone walking by can see - before moving into the bedroom.

The will they won’t they moment we all saw coming.
Camera IconThe will they won’t they moment we all saw coming. Credit: Channel 7

“I’ve missed you,” Mia whispers are they hold each other in their arms.

It’s like I’ve accidentally flicked over to MAFS because the speed at which Ari has got himself a new lover is very swift.

“This time I won’t let anything mess it up,” Ari says to his brother. He should be saying it to Mia though.

The next morning they continue to discuss their future together but Tane bursts in because the kids didn’t come home last night.

Little do they know their life is in great peril.

“So thirsty” one of the kids says.

The doors to the container are unlocked and they see daylight for the first time in hours. None of them are blinded though.

It’s Paul – the creep who is after Tane for drug related reasons – and a bunch of people in balaclavas who take Nikau from the clutches of his friends.

“Leave my friends alone I’ll do whatever you want,” Nikau says as he gets carted off.

Nikau is singled out.
Camera IconNikau is singled out. Credit: Channel 7

Paul rings Tane.

Tane drops his head in shame.

“What do you want Paul,” Ari says.

Paul wants Tane and Ari in exchange for the safe return of the kids.

“Let me be clear if I see one cop one River Boy these kids will pay,” Paul says.

“You know how this works I’ll send the details when I’m ready.” No Paul, I don’t know how a hostage situation works...

Less entertaining is Tori planting the seed of doubt in Leah and Justin’s minds.

Tori is still going on about all the issues with their “dream house” but Budget McDreamy tells her to simmer down.

Leah grinding her teeth while her almost sister in law goes on and on.
Camera IconLeah grinding her teeth while her almost sister in law goes on and on. Credit: Channel 7

Tori offers an olive branch and says has overstepped.

“I think I owe you both an apology,” Tori says.

And there’s mention of Martha who is spending all her time painting – or so her family thinks – in her art van turned future Kieran hideout.

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