Margaret Muirhead obituary: Wove connections into strong support

Cyclone Tracy wrecked lives, buildings and much of Darwin’s faith in a future. Though Margaret Muirhead, a loyal resident of Australia’s northernmost town, was away at Christmas 1974, she soon returned to help with the massive job of picking up the pieces.

Her published memoir, My 90 Year Journey, describes how “winds of over 200km/h had completely destroyed all outer suburbs and most of the rest of Darwin”. A second wave of wind “completed Tracy’s destruction of the few buildings, trees and gardens that had been left unharmed before”.

Six days after the Christmas Eve cyclone, Margaret heard from her husband, James — a senior judge — who had travelled aboard an air force plane from Adelaide to what was left of Darwin. He reported “total shock at the extreme devastation”. Margaret’s autobiographical journey includes wonderment at how “this place that had welcomed us so generously seemed to have been blown out of existence”.

Decades later, having set down roots in Western Australia, she could reflect on the power of rehabilitation at the personal and civic levels. Buying a beach house in Gracetown, for example, gave her more chance to walk on the sand with family and friends. While on the committee of Probus Cottesloe, she was adept at organising outings for members to enjoy ballet and theatre. Though 80 when joining Probus in 2007, she appeared inexhaustible. She was similarly active with the Nedlands Croquet Club.

Margaret, who had been executive director of the YWCA in Darwin from 1975 to 1980, was a connector par excellence. In Perth, where the family relocated in 1985, she continued her interest in the “Y”.

She subscribed keenly to the YWCA’s ethos of empowering women and advocating on important issues.

She subscribed keenly to the organisation’s ethos of empowering women and advocating on important issues. Building childcare centres is one priority. Female leadership is another. Another legacy of her Territory time was a lifetime’s interest in, and concern for, Aboriginal issues. She visited many communities outside Darwin.

Margaret knitted the Territory and WA parts of her life together efficiently. This was underpinned by her capacity for maintaining friendships across borders and years. Among such stayers was Annie Hastwell, who was recreation officer at the YWCA in Darwin and lived there for 22 years.

“Margaret was the best sort of boss,” she recalls. “My job was to arrange cooking, yoga, language learning and all sorts of other activities . . . Margaret’s support was constant. Whenever I came to Perth from home in other cities, I would try to see her. Usually this was while she was living in Albion Street, Cottesloe, but occasionally we met at Gracetown. She had a free spirit, full of adventure, that made you feel you were No.1.”

Margaret Hamilton Frayne was born in Adelaide on December 3, 1926, youngest of four children of Jean (nee Tuck) and Harold Frayne, a dentist.

Margaret, soon known as Margie, did all 12 years of schooling at the non-sectarian, private Wilderness School. Her early years were shadowed first by the Great Depression and then by World War II. In 1948 she announced her engagement to James (Jim) Muirhead. They married in February 1950, and their children were born over the next decade or so, the youngest (Bill) arriving in 1961.

The memoir makes frequent mention of the happiness of her time with Jim. Margaret was a strong support for some of his difficult and high-profile roles, including as royal commissioner (Aboriginal deaths in custody) and as administrator of the Northern Territory. His death in 1999 was a severe blow but resilience remained her trump card. She was courageously candid about previous dark times. Her daughter Janet, a psychologist, has praised her mother’s “inspiring journey” in facing depression during early parenting. At Margaret’s funeral in January she said: “Determined to not let it beat her, believing recovery was totally up to her, at 36 she changed directions, embraced colourful clothes, took on experiences outside her comfort zone, teamed up with different communities, and learnt Italian, which she was still practising in our last conversation.”

During almost 25 years of widowhood there was much doting on grandchildren and great-grandchildren as well as a host of other connections.

No one was surprised when she joined the Gracetown Cowaramup Bay Community association as an active member.

The family recognised that this district in the South West meant “solace as well as noisy family holidays”. Two years ago she moved from Cottesloe to St Louis Estate in Claremont.

Margaret died on January 6, survived by her daughter Janet, sons Richard, Tim and Bill, 10 grandchildren, nine great-grandchildren and Margaret’s beloved cousin in Adelaide, Marie Boynton.

Of all the phone calls during Margaret’s 98 years, one from Canberra in 1987 stood out. It was on behalf of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth. Would Mrs Muirhead accept a Medal of the Order of Australia for service to the YWCA and the community?

“My knees went to jelly,” she was to write. “I took a very, very deep breath and whispered, ‘Oh, yes . . . I think so.’”

Margaret Muirhead OAM

Executive director and community organiser

Born: Adelaide, 1926

Died: Perth, aged 98